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[30 Mar 2007|10:33pm]
so i havent written in a bit
alot of stuff has happened.
matt is starting to oddly talk to me again..and hes acting very odd.
like he'll say hi to me and be like im horny ...
and i honestly dont feel like being thrown away and around.
it just sickens me :) so thereforeim just gona play hard to get and when eventualy he begs me to hang out with him ill be like Ok for an hour.
i like mark...i like him alot hes amazing.
very nice and i like the fact that hes well educated too:) it drives me insane when people are retarded.
brad wanted me to take his lizard in but dad absolutely objected...he said he doesnt want anything to do with reptiles...hes gona hate it when i get a snake...oh man oh man:)
things are going good.
meagan and i are doing well...weve become friends again and ive missed her...some girls are acting weird...its as if her and i cant be friends anymore because they are acting weird therefore...u know they ignore or stare and give dirty looks. fuck im not 3 anymore its not like were fighting over a fucking toy.
neways i gotta bounce :)

[24 Mar 2007|09:58pm]
im doing so much better.
i got my hair done today its amazing.
i loves it :)
its great i cant wait to show everyone.
man im ipod is full of new music and theres no time to listen to it it drives me insane.
i studied i work 2mmorow and i work sunday so that shall be fun :)

[22 Mar 2007|12:53am]
i think im ok.
i do think so. ive been getting better. brad drew me an amazing tattoo its beautiful he drew it from the heart and thats why its so special.its one of the best ive seen him do. im proud of him..and im trying to urge him to do something about the creativity he has within him. i miss meagan i do...but i cant get close to her again because i might hurt her plus i dont think ive ever been able to be close to anyone like i have with her...and now thats fucked...i fucked it up like everything else. i need a cigarrette...and i need to quit smoking
i cant wait to see melissa i think ill cry when i do.
she walked into my life...seeing how fucked up i was and through this whole time she calls me and makes sure im ok. im glad i can have her in my life i wish everyone stuck around like that even grandma...i love you rest in peace

[20 Mar 2007|07:40pm]
i think im doing ok...
well better i think..im not too sure.
im going to get my hairdone on friday so im excited:)
i work wensday and thursday...i guess this whole spring break...is gona be work mostly..
i dont feel like being around people at the moment.
i can tolorate some but i cant deal with others...so i just ignore them or say im busy..which really im...but for my sake i just wanna be left alone. i feel like the only way that i can deal with wats bugging me is to be left alone.
i hope i could figure out wats wrong..because the feeling is not going away at all.
and i want it to go away and never come back so that i dont have to deal with it.

[18 Mar 2007|09:53pm]
im trying to get better. today i took the wall paper off my room..i looked around at all the things all the colors that created my old room..just to find that each wall is gona be a new and a different colour..due to me growing up..i guess a change is always good.
i worked today...it was pretty boring. mr emerson gave me a book to read, its soppose to help people understand their emotions and wat they are going through...and i must say its helping even thought ive only read 2 chapters.. i have to work tommorow too but i work in the afternoon with jerrica and that will be fun. i feel like crawling into my bed and sleeping for a long time. i think im gona send a post secret, decorate it as well as i can and release the secret to the world. i dont know wat to say tho. there soo much to say. i feel that i need to make sure people are happy before im...i dont think this feeling i have of emptyness wants to go away..because its not going away wat so ever.

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